Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cracking Your Knuckles

I pop/crack my joints. Fingers, wrists, elbows, back, hip, knees, ankles, toes and neck. Yep. I’m a popper. Now you know. What is the relevance of this information? Glad you asked.
Habits/Routines and the effect on others.

Things we do, both consciously and unconsciously, have an effect on other people. Think of the contagious yawn. We see someone yawn and we yawn. Or, in a classroom when someone clears their throat or coughs and several others see the opportunity to do the same. Knuckle cracking is the sort of the same but a little different.

Some people are grossed out by hearing the sound of a joint being popped. I respect this, although, I do take pride in my pops. The louder the pop the more proud I am of it. I usually have the greatest sense of accomplishment in a pop with my right thumb. The joint where the thumb meets the hand, (the proximal phalange meets the metacarpal bone). By placing the base of my left palm directly over the top of this joint and pressing downward directly on the joint I can create a pop sound beyond imagination. I usually get one or two good pops out of this joint in a day. Each one is a victory!

I have specific techniques and processes to follow to get certain joints to pop. We learn as we go what works and what doesn’t work.

So regarding habits and routines what are you doing (or not doing) that has an effect on other people? Everything that you do has some kind of an effect on other people. Be it directly or indirectly, your actions do have an effect on others.

Does this change the way we behave? In most cases no. Should it change the way we behave? It depends on what we are doing (or not doing). This brings about another point. Not reacting or not acting on something is just as much of an action/reaction. Our choices have an effect whether we do something or don’t do something in our given situation. There is a price to pay or an award to receive when we react or don’t react.

Medical doctor Donald Unger conducted an experiment in which he regularly cracked the knuckles of his left hand for fifty years while not manipulating those of his right. No arthritis or other ailments formed in either hand, and he was awarded 2009's Nobel Prize in Medicine.

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GO DO!™
By Tony Wolfe

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Everyone Makes a Difference

I believe we would agree that we all make a difference in some way or another. The difference could be a negative or it could be a positive. It’s still a difference.

Passionate people tend to want to make that difference so that the world can be a better place. Remember Hands Across America on Sunday, May 25, 1986? It was a publicity campaign intended to raise money for charities (USA for Africa) and it ended up with nearly 5.5 million participants and raising about $20 million. That’s a lot of money and a lot of people.

The event actually got shorted somewhere around $35 million. People were supposed to donate $10 to participate. That’s 3.5 million people who didn’t donate but were participating anyway. That’s 3,645.8 miles worth of people who didn’t donate. The event was shorted more than it benefitted. How’s that for making a difference?

Had the 5.5 million hand-interlocked people formed one continuous chain, it would have stretched across the 48 contiguous US states. There were many breaks in the chain but the event was still declared a success. In my area (Southern Indiana), we stood in the rain, sang the song and were happy doing it. The Indianapolis 500 (same day) was rained out. We were one of the only areas in the entire country that did not have a celebrity somewhere in the chain. Jim Neighbors was just up the road a piece ready to sing Back Home Again in Indiana at the Speedway.

If you were one of those that held a stranger’s hand in the human chain but didn’t make your donation, you still can. Visit www.usaforafrica.org to do the right thing. There are plenty of folks who could really put to good use the missing $35 million.

GO DO!™
by Tony Wolfe
www.TonyWolfe.com

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Getting Inside a Balloon

As a child I was intrigued by balloons. I often thought about being inside of one and what that would be like. Aside from the suffocation danger, I didn’t see why I couldn’t be in there. I would be isolated, yet I could still see out. The world would take on a strange transformation. Everything would be yellow or pink or blue. Everything would somehow be brighter but at the same time blurred. It wouldn’t be the view that you would want all of the time but it was cool at least for a few moments. Those few moments provided a child with the opportunity to let the imagination run wild and to see things in a different light.

Looking through a balloon still allows us to see tones and shades. We still have the ability to see objects and make them out. More things just sort of run together.

Imagine looking at the world through a balloon all of the time. Imagine being inside that balloon and just watching. Okay, now what? You are in there. What’s the big deal? Everything is one color. Wow. Why did we want for this?

We wanted for it because it was something new. It was an experience that we hadn’t experienced. It was the enjoyment of an adventure that we had not yet explored. But once we went, it became old news.

How many of you still look forward to new things? As an adult, do you still seek adventure? Do you still let your mind wander and allow yourself some time for “free thinking”? You should.

Whatever your situation, whatever your status in life, whatever you think about yourself, you should get inside your balloon once in a while and look at things in a different light. Oh, you’ll have to come out eventually, so don’t get too comfortable.

GO DO!™
by Tony Wolfe

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Why We Breathe

Have you ever thought about why we breathe? Really, I’m serious. Stop laughing!

Of course we breathe to sustain life and provide oxygen to our brains and so on, but do you have to “think” about breathing? No. It’s just one of those things we do. It’s somehow built into the system of the human body. It’s automatic. Amazing stuff.

What else could fall into this category? What are some other things in our lives that just… are? Ooooh! Instead of thinking of the things that ARE in this category, let’s brainstorm on a few that could be or should be in this category. Sound fun? Of course it does.

Shall we begin with automatic acceptance? Would you believe the world to be a wonderful place if there was no prejudging? Make your evaluations of others when you reach the point of really knowing them. Face value often has no value. The inner workings are where one will find the true qualities of a person. Those qualities may be outstanding or they may really suck and you can walk away from that. You decide after you know them.

How about automatic praise? Giving others a pat on the back and saying, “good job”. Providing those words of public praise that elevate others is powerful. How often do we take the time to provide those supportive words and actions to those around us? Yeah, I know. Me too.

One more. Automatic respect. This falls into place when you do the other two. When you are accepting and when you give public praise you will automatically have respect for those individuals. You have found qualities within them to accept and you have observed an action that provides an opportunity to give praise. They are earning your respect as a result.

Here’s something to add to the coolness of this. When you do these things, you get all of these things in return. Yep! Sort of makes breathing even more fun, huh?

GO DO!™

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Lights! Camera! What now?

At that moment when you are hearing the countdown, you are all dolled up and looking quite striking if I may say and you have that bit of nervousness that makes you wonder if you need to take that extra trip to the bathroom. Then, three, two, (the silent one) and finally, the point! You’re on! Or are you?

The question isn’t “is this your moment”, because it is. It’s show time! The question is, are you on? Are you prepared? Did you practice? In preparation, have you done this so frequently that you treat this just like any other rehersal run, and it’s spot on? Many don’t and then they wonder what went wrong.

When we go to the movies or watch a program on TV we are disillusioned. It’s as though the actors have just walked onto the set and miraculously know the lines, know where to stand and know exactly how to interact with each other. It is no miracle. They practiced. They did it over and over until they “got it”.

The beauty of their scenario is that if they flub a line or get the giggles, it just gets cut out. In our lives, we don’t have editing capabilities when we are “on stage”. We must get it right on the first take. Will that always happen? No. But how we react to when it doesn’t happen is a part of defining just who we are.

The more prepared we can make ourselves the better the chances of getting that standing ovation.

(applause)

GO DO!™

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Watching… Are You Paying Attention?

We spend a lot of time in our lives just watching. What are we watching? Depends really. TV, movies, internet, people, plants, animals, planets… this list could go on and on.

During our “watching” what are we really seeing? And are we really paying attention to what we are seeing? Is what we think we see really what we are seeing?

It could become a matter of how we view things. How we were raised. What we believe in. Sometimes reality can take over and sway our thoughts into a whirlwind of never before seen or thought ideas. Scary huh?

Would you agree that there is a difference in “watching” and “being attentive”?

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GO DO!™

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Knocking On Doors – Not What You Expect

One of the really great things about following someone’s blog is that you actually learn about them as a person. Through the sharing of life experiences, we actually get to know about what makes people tic… and toc. This is one of those moments.

I spent twenty years of my life as a death investigator. Yes, CSI/Quincy sort of stuff. As a Deputy Coroner, I investigated and determined the cause and manner of hundreds of people’s demise. Natural, accident, homicide and suicide. Those are the only classifications existing as to the “manner” of a death. Well, and the “unknowns/undetermined”. I investigated all of these.

I began this journey in my life in January of 1988. A few days later, I was standing over the body of a sixteen year old kid who was the younger brother of a very good high school friend. He had been killed in an auto collision. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was about to throw my badge and ID into the nearby field and say, “Screw this”. But I didn’t. I stuck with it. It was difficult. I went through the entire process of scene investigation, interviewing a few witnesses, photos, scene sketches, body recovery, autopsy, funeral and going to the family’s house after the funeral.

My high school friend saw me at the hospital the night of the incident and came up to me crying and kept apologizing to me. I was confused because I had no clue why he was apologetic to me. He said he was sorry that I had to go through this the situation. Well, that certainly didn’t help in my efforts to try to maintain composure. It wasn’t about me. This family suffered a tremendous loss and here he was apologizing to me. Talk about a heart of gold.

On another mid-Summer day several years later, I was called out on another auto collision involving a death. This gentleman had lost control, driven off the road and through a sign encased in concrete block and stone and flipped a few times. He was dead on the scene.

Through the scene investigation and a few phone calls we discovered that the deceased had an elderly father at home. A Sheriff’s Deputy and myself drove over to the father’s residence to give notification of the death. Both of us were dreading the knock but somebody had to do it. Seven raps on the door. No response. Seven more knocks, but a little harder. Still no response. Now, we are looking into windows and seeing some movement inside the house. Finally, the old man made his way to the front door. He had slowly gone to the back door because that is where he thought the knock originated. It just took him a while to get back to the front of the house as his later years had slowed him down quite a bit. Picture Tim Conway as that “old guy” character on Carol Burnett. Yeah, that slow.

The man looked at me (in plain clothes) and at the uniformed Deputy Sheriff as if we were from another planet. I began the process of asking questions to determine if we were in the right spot and talking with the right man. After introducing myself and the Deputy, my first question was, “Is there anyone else here with you?” He said he was alone at the moment but he was waiting for his son to return from running errands. The man spoke slowly and with a hint of confusion in his voice. I believe that was his normal state.

I asked his son’s name. He told me. It matched the name of the occupant of the car. I asked what make and model of car his son drives. That matched too.

I knew I was quickly approaching the time that I would just have to tell the man that his son wasn’t coming home, ever. I had all of the information and confirmation that I needed. I took a deep breath and explained to him what had happened. I still had not said that his son was dead. Blurting that out was not my style. When a Sheriff and a Coroner come knocking on the door, most of the time you don’t have to even say much about what, only who.

This man wasn’t catching on. He would listen, nod, answer questions but still was not picking up on exactly what was going on. Finally, I just had to spell it out for him. I told him that his son had an accident and was killed in the wreck. There. Done. I told him. But he still didn’t get it. He looked at me and asked, “You say he’s dead?”

I said, “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry. He’s dead.”

We went through this over a dozen times. I had given these types of notifications many, many times. But never this many times in one visit. The Sheriff had gone outside to make calls to try to get somebody there at the house to be with this man. There was no way we were leaving him there alone. We had asked him over and over if there was someone we could call to come to be with him and he kept asking, “You say he’s dead?” It was heart breaking.

Finally, a neighbor walked over and ask what was going on. Normally, the nosey neighbors are a pain in the rear, but this worked out very well. The neighbor offered to stay with the man until the old man’s daughter could arrive in about two hours. I verified with the father of the deceased that he knew and trusted his neighbor. He did, so all was well there.

Three and a half hours after our initial knock on the door we were leaving the man’s house. He still hadn’t gotten it. I thanked the neighbor over and over for offering his assistance. We left.

Are you familiar with the statement, “That which does not kill us only makes us stronger”? Well, need I say more? GO DO!™

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